well since last updating this dumb thing I no longer have the job I talked about in my last post. It only lasted 2 weeks, they used me big time, and im pretty sure it had been planned, but I got all the money they owed me.

No more emo house =/ We all moved out of there about 2 months ago. The boys are living in San Marco now with Marc..ick. I'm currently living at my moms, until Rachel and I move aug 1st to San Marco. That is after we find a place to move into. My dad is helping me out a lot lending me money to move since I have only had my new job a couple of weeks now. I am working for an asian family that owns a nail salon, haha. They have a 4 month old baby girl and a 2 year old little girl that is learning 2 languages at once, so I can barely communicate with her. The pay isn't all that great and i'm working a shit ton of hours, but I am seacrhing to take on another little girl that Vionna can play with.

That's pretty much all that is new right now. I'm just so ready to move back on my own!!

I GOT THE JOB!!!
I went to meet the family yesterday afternoon. They are a young family, super sweet and look very easy to get along with. The kids are a 2 and ahlf yr old little boy and a 5 yr old girl...cutest things of my liiiife!! They have a 8yr old son too but I will only have him after school and they said he plays with his friends most of the time. They are paying me weekly 350.00 and I have most Thursdays off which works out perrrrrfect for ladies night Wedmesdays =] They also have a preggo boxer that is about to pop out babies they said any day now. I have most Thursdays off which is sweeeeeet! She said I can do whatever with them, if I wanna go somewhere or I can even take them to the beach. Which I will for sure be doing once in a while...but thats kinda scary at the same time. I start next Monday, getting up is gonna suuuck...thats the only real down fall.

I went over to my dads house last night. He bought a new harley, which I am not a fan of at all! I just think they are really dangerous, but he stuck me on the back of that thing anyways. We went up to this biker bar and got a drink then went out to dinner. He gave me a $100 for my birthday =]

Welp, off to do some things ready to close this store down soon. I'm sad to see it go but i'm excited to start something new. Now my mom just has to find a job.

Well i've been 21 now for a week, and i'm lovin it so far! I love that I can just get out of the house and get a couple drinks somewhere. ladies night at ale house was alot of fun. I might as well go ahead and kiss my week night social life goodbye though. I think I have found a job finally, and at this point i'm getting desperate since we are closing within the next few weeks. So it's 7:45-6:30 M-F 2 kids all day and one after school. Its off Hodges though and that sucks considering the 11hr days but i'm so sick of looking and worrying about being out of a job completely. I'm actually really fuckin sick of this job now, it's hard to wanna be working at a business thats in the middle of going out of business. The plus sides of this one is, i'm gonna have the money to do almost anythign I want, esp cuz I obviously am not gonna be spending money during the week. I'll have money to go shopping. Being at the beaches isn't so bad, my grandma is off san pablo and my dad lives in atlantic beach. Maybe i'll luck out and be able to take the kids to the beach during the summer. THAT would be idealllllll. Well the lady is calling me tonight to discuss eveetyhign else. I'm nervous but now, just more anxious.

So Thursday I have an appoitment to get my hair all chopped off. I've kept a long haircut for about 5 years now so it's time to go above the shoulders. I'm realllly nervous but i've been talked into it, and I trust Sami with my hair. Plus I figured i'd do something new, with my birthday coming up. 10 daysssssssss awayyyyyy! I can't believe how close it finally is! I can't wait for my party, I wanna have some sort of punch or something instead of a keg. So beer lovers can byob.

So thats pretty mcuh all the exciting new ive got. Everything else in my life still pretty much sucks.

Tuesday night my grampa (my father's dad) past away with cancer. I didn't find out until Wednesday because my mom knew I had plans for Callie's birthday and she didn't wanna ruin my night. I wasn't really anymore upset then what I had been the past couple of months knowing this was gonna happen soon. It's almost a relief because we are for sure he is in a better place. My grandma can get on with her life now and sleep through the night. They have 5 kids, about 15 grandchildren and like 20 great grandchildren (no lie) he is very missed by alot of people, but I thank God for having him as a grandfather and for giving me such a big family! I love you Grampa Beaver R.I.P. <3
The funeral is next Wednesday at 5. THAT is gonna be hard!

This week has flown! Tomorrow is already Friday and I guess we are whylin for Vlad D's birthday that was Monday. I'm so tired of being so broke...not only does it effect me and all the shit I need but I hate not having money to spend on peoples birthdays and christmas is KILLING me. I hate having to go around and tell everyone how I am not ognn abe able to buy them a christmas gift so not to get me one either...and then some do and I feel bad anyways. Ohhh well...


Geeb competetion tonight! YUUUUUS!

I have a little bag or sack looking thing under my right eye. I have no idea what it is, and I think it hurts a little, I can def feel that it is there.
I have no idea what it is. I googled it but I didn't get any good answers.
I can't afford to go to the doctor, or to take off work for whatever this may be.
I am also supposed to be leaving for Atlanta Friday afternoon for the weekend and six flags. If I can't go i'm gonna be very upset, especially because it's a free trip.

=[

So my grandpa has had cancer for a good while, he had started to get better. Even made it up to New York for hunting. Well some what recently I guess they found more cancer spreading in different areas. As of right now he is very critical. My cousin gives me the most info on it all and hearing that my grandma can't even have a casual conversation just kills me. I have all 4 of my grandparents still living so losing him is gonna be so rough. He is in so much pain, on morphine 24/7 at home. They are keeping a lot of news in. The hospital had to get called last night, i'm not sure why, but that is never good. We don't even know if they have given him a time period left to live, and we probably will never know. I am so bad at stuff like this, I need to go see him but it's so hard and knowing me i'd just break down crying right in front of him.

I can't handle any negativity anymore.

So 3 of my friends turned 21 this week...Happy Birthday Jessica, Jackie, and Christina!!!!

It is Saturday AND St Patty's day and guess what....I'm working! It sucks and i'm not happy at all. I'm glad it is cold though cuz if I missed out on a beach day I would of been really upset. Shawn is having a St Patty's Day party at his house today. I told him I may stop by today after work. 

Theres been alot of tension in the house lately with the girls. Living with 3 other girls is alot of fun...but we are girls. Thursday it all got talked about and hopefully this won't happen again for a while. 

Maybe something about a Junkyard party tonight!?!?! Chris said Newsome mentioned it.

Vlad and Erica leave on their 7 day cruise tomorrow. I'm SO jealous of them!
So this week should be interesting...a week in the house with no parents! haha jk. It's either gonna be a great or shitty week. I'm gonna go with great!

1. WHAT DOES YOUR MYSPACE NAME MEAN?
I don't have a myspace anymore

2. WHERE WAS YOUR DEFAULT PICTURE TAKEN?
on 9A in Caitlin's mom's mustang convertible

3. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
Elizabeth

4. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS?
single..yep

5. HONESTLY, IF SOMEONE WERE TO TELL YOU HOW THEY FELT, WOULD YOU LISTEN?
yeah, why not?

6.WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT MOOD?
tired

7. WHO DO YOU LOVE MOST?
friends & family

8. WHEN WERE YOU BORN?
2/22/87


9.WHERE WAS YOUR FIRST KISS?
bowling alley

10. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND CHANGE SOMETHING, WOULD YOU?
nah everything happens for a reason

11. IF YOU MUST BE AN ANIMAL FOR ONE DAY - WHAT WOULD IT BE?
a fish

12. EVER HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE?
yes

13.WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
work aka hell

14. WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE SONG THAT'S STUCK IN YOUR HEAD?
the good times are killin me

16. NAME SOMEONE WITH THE SAME B-DAY AS YOU?
old step sister

17. HAVE YOU EVER SANG IN FRONT OF A LARGE AUDIENCE?
yea in elem school

18. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
the whole package

19. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY ORDER FROM STARBUCKS?
white mocha, or mocha frap

20. WHAT ARE YOU "CLASSIFIED" AS?
me

21. DO YOU STILL WATCH KIDDY MOVIES OR TV SHOWS?
no

23. NAME SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY?
Um well I just got bitched out from my mom because I didnt do something on wed. when we also just figured out that SHE fucked up an order and now labor can't get done today because the paper is wrong. 
how is that right?!@

24. IS THERE SOMEONE ON YOUR MIND
fuck no

25. DO YOU SPEAK SPANISH
no

26. WHAT HURTS YOU THE MOST?
when my friends pretend to be one thing and do another

27. WHAT DO YOU WISH FOR?
ha! I wish for alot

1. Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?
yeah

2. What's something you MUST do before you die?
idk

3. Are you single? Do you want to be?
yes. Yes because the 3 girls I live with are in a relationships and things can get lonley sometimes and no because...well...its easier

4. What's one thing you will not eat?
the world

5. What color is your underwear?
pink and black

6. When's the last time you went out of state?
last year

7. What's your birthstone?
amytheist sp

8. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
ew no the thought of dry crusty milk on the edges grosses me out

10. Can you hula hoop?
prolly not

11. Have you ever crawled through a window?
yup

14. Any cool scars?
eh not really

15. Name an old school song you like?
ice ice baby

16. Do you talk to yourself?
yes

17. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
who was that? oh yes...mr chicken head. umm as much as I don't want want anything to do with that again, the truth is probably yes..I cant help itttttt

18. How much does your dog weigh?
my moms dog weighs like 6 lbs

19. Ever waxed your legs?
no

20. Earrings or necklaces?
both

21. Who have you talked to most today?
my mom

22. Who's on speed dial 5?
idk

24. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
not really

25. Are your grades good?
what grades?

26. Do you have any friends with benefits?
no, although that must be what mr chicken head is going for

27. Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson?
yes I love jack johnson

28. Do you have a song by ozzy osborne in your library?
I have the CD haha

29. Do you watch Family Guy regularly?
nope

30. Have you ever watched a little kids show?
yeah

31. What is your favorite Disney movie?
i have lots

32. What is your Zodiac sign?
pisces

33. What makes you feel like a kid again?
haha me and my roommates running into Justin's house with masks and rope trying to abduct Vlad D. then planning to put him in the trunk of saearls car and taken him home

34. What is your nationality?
I'M AMERICAN!

35. What sport do you dislike most?
lacrosse is dumb

36. Have you ever gone scuba diving?
nope

37. What's your favorite smell?
mandarin mango has won over my love

38. Are you modest?
mouse

39. Do you care what others think about you?
If I care about them

40. What do you do when your driving?
smoke and listen to music

41. Do you kiss and tell?
I tell my best friends

42. Do you follow college football?
no

43. Where was the last place you went shopping?
AE

44. Last time you drank alcohol?
last saturday I think? wow

45. Favorite football team?
jags

46. Do you watch the Olympics?
no

47. Last bar you went to?
HOJ

48. Do you have a favorite number?
2

49. Were you an outcast in middle school?
no

50. Are you multitasking right now?
I should be trying

51. Could you handle being in the military?
no

52. Do you believe in Karma?
yes

53. What is your school mascot?
dont have one

54. How is the weather today?
crazy

55. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
Umm dropping it? idk how mnay stupid things you can do with a cell phone

I get off at noon today..
off tomorrow
10-6 thursday and friday.
this week only!

I'm excited...gonna go home and dye my hair. Then I have no plans...Call me if you wanna chill.

This past weekend was alot of fun. I hope to re live that again this weekend, so you better all hang out!!!
]drunks
right after a beer bong

go jackie go jackie go!






I'm so happy it's finally really cold. I got my hocus pokus shoes out last night...so glad to be wearing them again, and I can wear my new jacket I just bought.

Good bye my dear friend...

I have decided to quit this nonsense. I can't sleep without it so it's going to be a battle...but that is what made me realize I have to put this to a stop. I was up till 6am because we were out last night. Between just Nicole and I we spend $400 a month on weed. I think it might have something to do with my depression as well. I'm still gonna drink or whatever and I will smoke every now and then if its being offered. I won't pay for it anymore. I won't plan my life around it. Its become a very serious problem that I have to get rid of. So I am very proud and happy to say that I will no longer be categorized as a pot head.

Nicole has to have surgery tomorrow so I may be stayin in all weekend depending on how she feels. I'd feel like a terrible friend if I just left her home alone. It sucks i'll probably be missin the Jungle party at merediths on Saturday. Oh well.

So I went to the mall today and spent $100


but...




isn't it cute??









Yes, it's real Vera Bradley and I loveeeeeee it. Looks way better in person too.

i'm broke again =[

Not moving out anymore. I just cannot come up with that kind of money.
Although...i wanna move out baaaad. with ONE person. and into something I can afford...
Its not gonna happen.
blah

I wrote Roscoe a message last week that i didnt tell anyone about....I just told him how I am doing and how things are here in Jax, and that I would really like to be friends with him since I am gonna be around for a long long time. About 4 days later he wrote a message back apologizing for everything he did and said...and that he'd like to be friends and that I can go to him to talk anytime. That made my day yesterday.
oh
and
also
I'm not moving out...im staying put...my mom has completely just changed her mind on the whole new hosue and moving thing. the market is down and shes not gonna be able to sell her house for what she wants. So I am gonan continue to live in the emo house till something better comes along. I think Nicole is gonna move into my room with me to half my rent, I just cant afford it, plus it has gone up.

Saturday Nicole and I played dress up



Then went to Vlad k's party which was AMAZING
Jackie, Me, and Alan

Vlad bustin some lyrics

Quail Man (kevin=])

Birthday Boy and Me

Me and Katy

Me and Callie

Callie and Matt

Alan and I

CaitWin

Sunday Caitlin and I went Golfing at the drink and drive range , where we went with Roscoe and Mike when I busted his head open..whoops. The guy there remembered us from it. We had a good time golfing with Ryan Clarks Left handed golf clubs...hahaha








Oh yeah. and this is a hott pic..dont lie

Last night we threw Shawn a lil mini suprise party thing...today is his actual birthday...big 21 now..haha.
Goign to Olive Garden tonight for his birthday dinner.

HOUSE OF JAM!



We have initiated ( think thats how you spell it) Ourselves into the HOJPC, Well deserved I think!














It was fuuuun

So I talked to Roscoe this morning...Turns out this whole thing is about him being broke and not being able to afford to come down near as much. Like every 2 months he can afford it...which is a long ass time I know..but I am willing on doing it..I have so much motivation to make this relationship work. So we are back together. But he can't afford to come down this weekend...it was suppose to be a 3 day weekend...but he just text me saying he just got monday off too...wtf!??!? He HAS to come down...like I am not taking no as an answer!!!!! I have 200.00 I can afford to give him, and I just text him telling him that...I dont think he will take it though...so i told him look at it as an early birthday present since his birthday is in June. He hasnt responded yet...i'm gonna be so pissed if he does not take it or find another way to get down here this weekend...
Caitlin, Mike, and I will also make a couple trips up to the good ole North Carolina to see him too...but I want him here this weekend!